"You know by now...something is wrong"

“You know by now that something is wrong.” The pilot's announcement pierced the dead silence. Yes, I knew something was wrong. Everyone on board knew that something was very wrong. We had been flying for what seemed like an eternity, with only the sound of the engine’s hum. The flight attendants had abruptly stopped the beverage service and retreated to the back of the plane. We had all heard the awful sound, but no one dared to ask what was going on. 

Then the pilot came back on. “We are seeking permission to land at the nearest airport that will allow us to.” That was all. No further explanation.

As my thoughts raced and fear engulfed my heart, we continued to fly. So, this is what it feels like to be in a life and death situation. This is what it feels like to be in the intersection between life and death, where neither was certain but either a possibility. My husband held my hand and encouraged me that we would certainly make it to earth, but my mouth was too dry to speak. I nodded in silence and continued to look out of the window, praying fervently for God to deliver us safely unto the ground.

We had left Orlando earlier, in high spirits, carrying sunshine in our souls back to the dreary Chicago winter. We had made this journey several times in the past, and the hour and half flight was never remarkable. This current journey certainly was. About 30 minutes into the flight, as the plane was settling into its cruising altitude and the flight attendants were serving beverages, an explosive bang shattered the normalcy. We all heard it! As the plane shuddered, complete silence fell in the cabin. The flight attendants scurried out of sight and we all indeed knew something was very wrong. But the pilot did not say a thing for an excruciating period, after which he announced the obvious.

I had never been afraid of flying. In fact, I loved soaring in the sky like an eagle, but the eagle was now terrified! At that time, I flew often on business. Day trips in between dropping off and picking up my daughter at day care were my norm! But now, I I felt like I had just flown into the eye of a storm and I prayed to God for His deliverance.

“We have been granted permission to land in Indianapolis” the pilot announced overhead. Indianapolis?  Why would he not land the plane sooner in the flight path to Chicago? Indianapolis was nearly home! Why would we need to divert to Indianapolis,  having flown all the way from Orlando? My mind was racing with questions. The flight attendants reappeared and began to prepare the cabin for an emergency landing. "Fasten your seat belts! Place everything under the seat" they said as they paced up and down the cabin barking instructions. The aircraft was now going to land - the earliest opportunity possible following the apparent system failure that had occurred. 

As the plane hovered for the landing in Indianapolis, we could see emergency vehicles on the ground. When the plane finally touched down in a remote section of the airport, all hell broke loose overhead. “Thank God we made it! Thank God we made it” a flight attendant shrieked. Yes, thank God we made it!

I exited that aircraft with so many questions. What exactly happened? Why did we not get more information? Why did we fly ALL the way in harrowing silence and total ignorance of what had happened? And why on earth did that woman yell “Thank God we made it” so loud and hard after we landed? So, our situation was THAT bad? It turned out that damage had been incurred to a vital part of the aircraft following the blow out of an engine.

This happened many years ago. Before the unfortunate events of 911, before Facebook and the courts of justice on social media, where the incident would have been chronicled, dissected and discussed; when flying was not anywhere as stressful as it is today. But I remember it vividly. The emotions, the fear, the panic, the anger, the relief.

Flying was never the same for me after that incident. I became afraid and panicked at the slightest sound, at the smallest indication that the flight attendants' behavior was different. Until that incident, I had always loved flying. I loved soaring in the sky as each experience, in my mind, brought me physically closer to the heavens and to God. After this incident, everything changed. I no longer felt like I was soaring in the heavens, but felt more like I was trapped in a cylindrical bullet hurtling through the atmosphere and could not wait to arrive at my destination. 

Flying of course is the safest form of transportation, but try speaking that truth to the irrational fear of an individual with a vivid imagination, that is afraid to fly. It is said that one in ten of us has a phobia of flying, and not of the flying itself, but of the prospect of plummeting to death as the plane falls out of the sky. Statistics from the United States Department of Transportation however have shown that it is much safer to travel via plane, than in a car. In fact, air travel is the safest form of travel – safer than cars, rail, and boats all combined.

I eventually overcame my fear of flying, but it took several years after that incident to get there. That is a story in itself. The story of a fifteen and a half hour journey to Hong Kong, in an aircraft that kept hitting severe turbulence again and again. I will tell that story in another blog post.