Yellow reminds me to be happy!

I settled in the window seat, determined to enjoy a flight for once. I now had critical information about the sounds of an aircraft in motion and I was going to use that knowledge to help me relax. I leaned back, picked up a magazine and started reading. And then I heard an unusual sound, the sound of a female voice coming from the cockpit - our first officer, welcoming passengers on board. This was a first. I had never had a lady pilot before and the sound of her voice caught my attention. This was about about 30 minutes after boarding the Boeing 777 jet at London's Heathrow airport.

When I entered the aircraft, I had surveyed the space of my confinement for the next few hours. As usual, when boarding an aircraft, my senses were heightened. My nose picked up no unusual scents. My seat back monitor buttons were intact and I had my favorite British snacks in my carry on. 

A flight across the Atlantic with uncomfortable distractions can be additionally tough for someone whose imagination runs amok at 38,000 feet! And then there is the sense of hearing. MY sense of hearing. On board an aircraft, I hear EVERY sound. Every ding, buzz, whir, crank, bang, creak or beep. At the gate, during taxiing, at takeoff, during the flight, during the descent. The sounds always seemed errant and are sometimes nerve wracking. I had always wanted to ask a pilot what those various sounds meant.

The wonderful opportunity had come in the form of my own cousin in London, an experienced international pilot. He went to lengths to explain and reassure me that the myriad of sounds one hears onboard an aircraft were completely normal, standard sounds one should expect when flying. Aircraft make various noises as different parts of equipment move to increase or decrease aerodynamic forces. I got it. Crazy as they might sound, there was nothing to worry about! He also dispelled every myth I'd had about turbulence, giving  knowledgeable and experienced assurance that it would never bring an airplane down.

My fear of flying had always been at odds with my love for travelling, so a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders! I spent the rest of that day encouraging a girlfriend struggling with woes of her own, age induced  “personal summers” as she called them.  Being a colorful personality, she’d dramatically fan herself, and threatening to pull her car over while driving. 

The flight from London's Heathrow airport, back home to Washington D.C., was to be my inaugural ‘ fright free flight.’   I  was armed with all the information and common sense I needed to handle all the strange aircraft sounds, as well as turbulence during the journey. I was determined to conquer my irrational fears and enjoy a flight for once!

The sound of a female pilot welcoming passengers was a first. So, as crazy as it might sound, I felt a stir of unfounded anxiety rising in my chest. I had personally never heard a female voice coming from the cockpit before. The pilot responsible for our aircraft as we hurtled through the sky at 38,000 feet above the Atlantic was a lady! Why should that matter? My mind raced back to my girlfriend and her ‘personal summer’ shenanigans about pulling her car over. What if she was having personal summers too….? Where would we pull over?

Female pilots are certainly rare. Despite significant contributions made by women to the field of aviation, data indicates that just 6% of airline pilots are women! Being a woman in science, technology, engineering and math   (STEM) myself, I know firsthand what women in STEM, indeed women in general are capable of! I have two very capable daughters that I encourage daily to reach for the skies. Our lady pilot was literally about to do just that!

In 2018, Tammie Jo Shults was in the cockpit of a crippled Southwest airlines plane after a blown engine sent shrapnel flying through an aircraft's windows mid flight. One passenger was partly sucked out of a shattered window, and as chaos broke out, Ms. Shults coolly and safely landed that aircraft. Many say that but for her quick thinking in executing an emergency landing in Philadelphia, the toll on that flight from New York to Dallas, TX would have been higher.

My flight from London to Washington Dulles was smooth, and without any significant turbulence. I didn’t read or watch anything for hours, but simply sat there contemplating my thoughts. I replayed the reassuring conversation with my cousin regarding plane sounds and felt somewhat amused about my unexpected curved ball; the sound of a lady pilot - one I had never encountered in many years of travelling. I had many opportunities to tell myself to just calm down!  

Maria Fagerström  is a Swedish pilot living in Spain. Read her 8 best travel tips.

“ You know by now that something is wrong. ” The pilot's announcement pierced the dead silence. Yes, I knew something was wrong. Everyone on board knew that something was very wrong. We had been flying for what seemed like an eternity, with only the sound of the engine’s hum. The flight attendants had abruptly stopped the beverage service and retreated to the back of the plane. We had all heard the awful sound, but no one dared to ask what was going on. 

Then the pilot came back on. “ We are seeking permission to land at the nearest airport that will allow us to .” That was all. No further explanation.

As my thoughts raced and fear engulfed my heart, we continued to fly. So, this is what it feels like to be in a life and death situation. This is what it feels like to be in the intersection between life and death, where neither was certain but either a possibility. My husband held my hand and encouraged me that we would certainly make it to earth, but my mouth was too dry to speak. I nodded in silence and continued to look out of the window, praying fervently for God to deliver us safely unto the ground.

We had left Orlando earlier, in high spirits, carrying sunshine in our souls back to the dreary Chicago winter. We had made this journey several times in the past, and the hour and half flight was never remarkable. This current journey certainly was. About 30 minutes into the flight, as the plane was settling into its cruising altitude and the flight attendants were serving beverages, an explosive bang shattered the normalcy. We all heard it! As the plane shuddered, complete silence fell in the cabin. The flight attendants scurried out of sight and we all indeed knew something was very wrong. But the pilot did not say a thing for an excruciating period, after which he announced the obvious.

I had never been afraid of flying. In fact, I loved soaring in the sky like an eagle, but the eagle was now terrified! At that time, I flew often on business. Day trips in between dropping off and picking up my daughter at day care were my norm! But now, I I felt like I had just flown into the eye of a storm and I prayed to God for His deliverance.

“ We have been granted permission to land in Indianapolis ” the pilot announced overhead. Indianapolis?  Why would he not land the plane sooner in the flight path to Chicago? Indianapolis was nearly home! Why would we need to divert to Indianapolis,  having flown all the way from Orlando? My mind was racing with questions. The flight attendants reappeared and began to prepare the cabin for an emergency landing. "Fasten your seat belts! Place everything under the seat" they said as they paced up and down the cabin barking instructions. The aircraft was now going to land - the earliest opportunity possible following the apparent system failure that had occurred. 

As the plane hovered for the landing in Indianapolis, we could see emergency vehicles on the ground. When the plane finally touched down in a remote section of the airport, all hell broke loose overhead. “Thank God we made it! Thank God we made it” a flight attendant shrieked. Yes, thank God we made it!

I exited that aircraft with so many questions. What exactly happened? Why did we not get more information? Why did we fly ALL the way in harrowing silence and total ignorance of what had happened? And why on earth did that woman yell “Thank God we made it” so loud and hard after we landed? So, our situation was THAT bad? It turned out that damage had been incurred to a vital part of the aircraft following the blow out of an engine.

This happened many years ago. Before the unfortunate events of 911, before Facebook and the courts of justice on social media, where the incident would have been chronicled, dissected and discussed; when flying was not anywhere as stressful as it is today. But I remember it vividly. The emotions, the fear, the panic, the anger, the relief.

Flying was never the same for me after that incident. I became afraid and panicked at the slightest sound, at the smallest indication that the flight attendants' behavior was different. Until that incident, I had always loved flying. I loved soaring in the sky as each experience, in my mind, brought me physically closer to the heavens and to God. After this incident, everything changed. I no longer felt like I was soaring in the heavens, but felt more like I was trapped in a cylindrical bullet hurtling through the atmosphere and could not wait to arrive at my destination. 

Flying of course is the safest form of transportation, but try speaking that truth to the irrational fear of an individual with a vivid imagination, that is afraid to fly. It is said that one in ten of us has a phobia of flying, and not of the flying itself, but of the prospect of plummeting to death as the plane falls out of the sky. Statistics from the United States Department of Transportation however have shown that it is much safer to travel via plane, than in a car. In fact, air travel is the safest form of travel – safer than cars, rail, and boats all combined.

I eventually overcame my fear of flying, but it took several years after that incident to get there. That is a story in itself. The story of a fifteen and a half hour journey to Hong Kong, in an aircraft that kept hitting severe turbulence again and again. I will tell that story in another blog post.